I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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