her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
