i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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