he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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