We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
