please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
