U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
