If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
