so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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