They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
