FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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