So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dicks are not precious.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
