I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
