that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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