Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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