Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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