Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
