what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
