I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
