It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
