i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
