I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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