sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
