I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize