The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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