I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Will exercising make me less horny?
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