69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize