mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
