I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
