I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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