There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
