But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
