Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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