It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You need Xanax blowdarts
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
