I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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