We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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