can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
