apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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