how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
