you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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