I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
