how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
