I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize