Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
