Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
