Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
