So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize