You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
