Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
