Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize