Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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