I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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