New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you win again, gameday.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
tell me about the eggs
Randomize