giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
