I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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