His hands were made for my vagina.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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