Non-Jews are for practice
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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